Monaco – a quicker visit 

After my Tarn River canoeing trip I had four nights before meeting Maureen – for an operatic excursion – in Milan. I spent two nights in Cassis and the plan was a night in Monaco followed by a night in Genoa, all connected by train. Everything soon went wrong.

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First of all I simply cannot get a taxi to the Cassis train station, which is some distance from the centre. Eventually I get there by bus, which takes such an amazingly slow and convoluted route to the station, I’m certain I’ve missed my 0757 train, but in fact I get on board with moments to spare. Fat lot of good it does me, we only get a few minutes down the track to La Ciotat and stop completely because – as I later put this together – somebody has been involved in an accident at Ollioules. An ‘accident de personne,’ somebody jumped in front of the train perhaps? Eventually they announce we will be here for at least a couple of hours. I think about this for a bit, try and communicate with other passengers, but eventually decide to take an Uber. Are there Ubers in France?

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▲Yes, it turns out and I’m soon in a Toyota heading to Toulon for €60. Fat lot of good that does me as well. I thought that trains were halted westbound from Toulon, since they announced that ‘trains are halted between Toulon and Aubagne in both directions,’ but I thought the other way, eastbound, they would still be running. No.

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Three plus hours of complete confusion follows, trains keep getting delayed and since earlier ones might be delayed longer than later ones it’s very hard to tell what might leave next. Eventually my 0915 train is delayed 2 hours, then 2  hours 30 minutes, then 3 hours and then is cancelled completely. Plus it starts to rain, a truly Biblical downpour with thunder later on in the performance and with everybody milling around trying to work out when their train might depart and to keep out of the rain coming through in assorted places it’s not the best railway station session. I’m out on Platform A, dodging the raindrops when the 0850 to Strasbourg finally pulls out at 1228. I’ve been contemplating that like watched kettles not boiling, watched departure boards never seem to improve, it just gets worse.

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Finally it appears a Nice train is departing, but from Platform C, D or E? Nobody seems to know and might a later faster train get there before an earlier slower one? I’m not willing to test that idea, I’ll get on the first Nice train departing, which turns out to be nearly 4 hours late. From Nice local trains run to Monte Carlo and on to Menton and on to Ventimiglia across the border into Italy, where I will be going tomorrow. Between St Raphael-Valescure and Cannes we’re right up by the coast with often good views.

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So in to Monte Carlo, it’s only 21 minutes from Nice, where I follow the ‘taxi’ signs out to the street and, of course, there is not a taxi in sight. There certainly won’t be any Uber available as the Monte Carlo taxi drivers association have managed to get them banned from the principality. It’s also raining. Fortunately I do know the way to walk to the hotel and it isn’t too far although it is the uphill sprint from the Formula 1 start line up to the Casino Square, where I dodge round behind the casino and down to the Fairmont Hotel. In the rain.

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▲ The Fairmont Hairpin – so where is the Fairmont Hotel? At the Fairmont Hairpin on the Monaco Grand Prix course of course

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▲ The Grand Hotel Hairpin during practice for the 1970 Monaco Grand Prix

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I’ve been here before, in 1970 I watched some of the practice at the hairpin, at that time it was known as the Grand Hotel Hairpin, earlier it was the Station Corner and later the Loewe’s Hotel Corner. Perhaps it is still named after the Grand Hotel? Anyway the cars then go down to Portier Corner, round that and down to the tunnel. In 1970 Jochen Rindt in his Lotus won the race, spectacularly, from Jack Brabham on the last corner. Later he would win the world championship and then die in a practice crash at Monza in Italy. Actually he died before he won the world championship, he had so many points nobody overtook him so the championship was posthumous.

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▲ Here’s the view of that same corner, from the roof of the Fairmont Hotel, 53 years later. Now back in 1970 I spent several days in Monaco for the Grand Prix, I watched all the practice sessions, the Formula 3 race and then that exciting Formula 1 Grand Prix. And I’ve been back to Monaco (the country) subsequently, but I’d never actually spent a night in the city (Monte Carlo, which is more or less the same). It’s like the Traveler’s Century Club conundrum, have you been to the country if you didn’t spend a night there? The whole Grand Prix week? Well that counts I reckon and now I’ve done both, the Grand Prix and a night. Although my long delay getting here has meant a quick visit to Monaco has become an even quicker one.

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▲ Hotel de Paris, Casino Square

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After I dry off, I take the room umbrella and walk. Starting with the Casino Square of course, outside the Hotel de Paris there’s an-epitome-of-bad-taste red-and-blue-and-bespoilered Lamborghini on, I think, Saudi plates. I walk down to the harbour, traffic-jammed with super yachts, all looking spotlessly, sparkling clean and many of them super, supersized (Ecstasea in particular, which it turns out used to be the ex-Roman Abramovich super super yacht).

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▲ At the Sainte-Dévote Corner a memorial to William Grover winning the very first Monaco Grand Prix in 1929 in his Bugatti. The Englishman worked in France with the French resistance during WW II, was captured by the Nazis and taken to Berlin where he was tortured and then executed.

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I walk a bit of the Grand Prix circuit, still being packed away two weeks after the Grand Prix. Dinner? A very reasonably priced €3.50 beer followed by a nothing special cruodo pizza at Pizza Monaco Mama and a verre de vin rouge and a gateau pomme and a half, all absurdly reasonably priced for Monaco. Since I walk back to the Fairmont after my pizza through the tunnel I think I actually walk the complete Grand Prix Circuit.

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▲  The Monte Carlo Casino on Casino Square

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Next morning I get up early enough to have a pre-departure explore. I go upstairs for the view from the top of the hotel, then walk down from the hairpin bend to the Portier Corner and down further to the Princess Grace Japanese Garden which does not open until 0900, up past the Loro Piana shop (I only heard about the brand when Succession showcased it, it’s in amongst all the flashy watch shops) and the Casino. Then I continue a bit higher above the Casino Square where, despite the proximity to all that money, I find a cafe for a cafe latte macchiato and a pain raisin for €5. Amazing bargain.

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◄  The Sainte-Dévote Chapel beside the entrance to the Monte Carlo train station and at the Sainte-Dévote Corner, the first corner after the start line. If I count the Monte Carlo train station as a train trip in Monaco then since leaving Melbourne on 14 April I have been on trains in 12 countries – Australia – South Korea – Japan – Canada – USA – UK – Italy – Switzerland – France – Spain – Belgium – Monaco.